


His Life Closed Before Its Close

by turps



Category: Backstreet Boys, Popslash
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-20
Updated: 2010-08-20
Packaged: 2017-10-11 04:25:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turps/pseuds/turps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you to silencegrenade and phaballa for beta duties</p>
    </blockquote>





	His Life Closed Before Its Close

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to silencegrenade and phaballa for beta duties

Concealed high on a roofop, Kevin watches his target walk along the sidewalk, unaware that the last seconds of his life are ticking away. The man is wearing a striped scarf, the ends tucked neatly into his coat and carrying a briefcase and a cup of coffee, steam escaping into the cold air. He frowns suddenly, juggling his coffee and briefcase in order to dig out his cell, holding it in a gloved hand.

The man smiles when he looks at the display. He's still smiling when he collapses to the ground, one bullet to his forehead, blood trickling, mixing with the coffee that spreads in a steaming pool.

Satisfied, Kevin tucks away his gun, carefully tucking it in his chest holster, a familiar weight as he looks one last time and walks away, leaving to a background of screams.

~*~*~*~

Kevin allows the world to return to him as he strides unhurried, the intense focus of the last hour widening with each step. He notices the flurries of snow and shivers as he realises he's cold. Flexing aching fingers, he looks for Howie, knowing he'll be close. He is; a shadowy figure sheltering under the awning of a department store. He's backlit and out of place by the seasonal display of snowmen and Santa, and for a moment Kevin remembers Christmas with his family, the family he lost so long before.

"Kevin," Howie says, and he falls into step beside him, remaining silent thereafter, allowing Kevin the time to ease back into this world.

It's an understanding that comes from his own coping mechanisms, the ones that make him distant at times, but he always comes back--so far. Kevin's waiting for the day that Howie goes too deep, too far, unable to separate himself from the mark.

"We need to get away."

Howie looks across at him, but says nothing, waiting for Kevin to continue. He does, almost a block later, when he's watching Howie unlock the car.

"Somewhere hot. I want to lie in the sun for a while." Kevin slides inside, curled up in the small car. His breath puffs white and he tucks his hands under his armpits as Howie checks the mirrors before pulling away.

"You'd be bored in minutes." Howie says, he reaches out and turns on the heat, selects a radio station and turns down the volume so they're listening to a background noise of soft rock. It's not to Kevin's taste, but he listens anyway. There aren't any CDs, there never is. The cars are always pristine, impersonal, easily disposable, and he rests his cheek against the window as Howie drives them home.

~*~*~*~

Their latest apartment is five floors up. A balcony overlooks the parking lot, and when Kevin looks up he sees AJ pressed against the wall, cigarette glowing red, his foot against the metal railings, a glass of something held in his hand.

When he sees them he holds up his hand and Kevin nods a reply, blinking the snowflakes out of his eyes.

"Are you going to mention a vacation?" Howie asks, and he hunches into his coat as they hurry for the doors.

"Nick needs to get away." The handle is icy against Kevin's hand and his cheeks burn as he steps inside, shaking his head so melting snow is thrown out like rain.

"He does," Howie says flatly, and there's a hint of _something_ in his tone. Another life, another world.

"We'll go to the beach. Rent somewhere." Kevin presses for the elevator, and already he's making plans, trying to fix his people while they're cracked and not broken. That is, if he's not too late.

The elevator arrives. It's walled with mirrors, and Kevin checks out his reflection, keeps staring as if one day he'll catch the murderer that he knows lives inside. He doesn't see him today and he looks away, relieved, when they reach their floor.

Howie lets them in, digging the key from his pocket. It's warm inside and the scent of garlic fills the air. Looking toward the kitchen, Kevin sees Brian at the range. He's shirtless, singing along to the radio, but his gun is tucked between his pants and waist, and his shoulder blade is circled by a livid red scar.

"It's done?" Brian asks, and he looks over his shoulder with a wide smile.

Kevin plunges his hand deep in his inside coat pocket, and drops an envelope of cash on the table, the blood money he was given earlier, his price for blowing someone away.

"Do you want me to bank it later?" Uncurling himself, Nick looks over the back of the sofa. His hair is messy, tangled and damp, his eyes wide, and despite his eagerness to please, Kevin won't be sending him anywhere. Not tonight.

"His mom phoned." Brian is suddenly at Kevin's side. He smells like onions and antiseptic cream, and his smile has become something feral as he wraps his arm around Kevin's shoulder. "I told him you'd take her out, for free. He said no."

The balcony door opens, AJ and a blast of cold enter together. He's trembling as he sets his glass on the coffee table, and he sits, tucking his hands under his thighs. "Drop it, Bri. He said no."

"She's…."

Nick interrupts his expression blank. "I hate her, but she's my mom." He settles back into the corner of the couch, sketch pad on his lap, and looks down at the blank page

Kevin slips off his coat, looks at them all, and says, "We're going away."

~*~*~*~

Technically AJ has a map, but they abandoned it hours before. Instead he follows deserted roads, heading further into nothingness, civilization left far behind. They're all silent, lost in their own thoughts, and Kevin's beginning to think this is a mistake.

When they finally stop for gas, they see a tattered notice tacked to a board. It's advertising a holiday home and Kevin takes it as a sign, using a fake ID and cash, hiring the house for a week.

The house is further on still. It looks abandoned, and when Kevin runs his fingers across the furniture they end up covered in dust. He doesn't care, just pushes open the front door and stands on the creaking porch, the evening sun casting his world red.

"I'm going for a walk." Howie appears around the side of the house. He's wearing a leather jacket and a hat, and Kevin wonders which of his former marks thought that was a good choice. When he looks up at Kevin, the hat casts a shadow across his face, and just for an instant, Kevin sees the hint of a smile as he walks away.

"AJ took the car." The boards creak a warning as Nick walks near. He stands inches away, arms wrapped around his body, and Kevin remembers the boy who didn't believe in the concept of personal space. He misses that boy, he misses many things, but at least Nick is still here.

"He'll come back," Kevin says, and he rests his hand on Nick's arm, gratified when he doesn't try to pull away. "Want to help me make dinner?"

"You can cook?" Nick asks, his grin lightening the shadows in his eyes.

"I can supervise." Kevin pushes Nick, pleased as he laughs, and allows himself to be steered toward the door.

It doesn't take long to unpack the grocery bags. Kevin frowns at the vodka and cigarettes, but pushes them to one side. He's left with bread and packaged meat, slices of rubbery cheese and a bottle of mayo, dust scattered on the lid. Checking dates, he watches as Nick lines up slices of bread and cheese then spreads mayo across each one making sure that each one is fully covered. Kevin waits as Nick wrestles with something he doesn't want to say.

"I know you think I'm stupid, giving her more chances. But she's my mom." Nick shreds a slice of bread, crumbs falling to the floor. "I can't stop loving her, no matter what she does."

"You don't have to explain." Kevin takes more bread, laying slices on the mayo and cheese, concentrating on matching corners, and not Nick, who's slumped against the bench, one hip pressed against the stained wood.

"No, I do, because I know you think I shouldn't be here and I know you hate her, and I do too. Sometimes. I'm happier here, Kevin."

This is why Kevin hates Nick's mom. Because if Nick is happier living in a world of death and danger, he doesn't want to think of what it was like for him at home.

"I won't do anything," Kevin promises, and vows to tell the others the same. This is Nick's decision to make, but if he ever changes his mind, well. Kevin already has a bullet engraved with Jane's name.

"Thank you." The relief is obvious, and suddenly Nick is wrapped around Kevin, holding on, his head pressed against Kevin's neck, the months slipping back, until Nick's the boy he was before.

~*~*~*~

It's dark when the others come back, wandering in at different times, pulled to this temporary home.

Kevin's sitting on the porch, back against the wall, his knees bent, listening to Nick's stories of his sisters and brother, his dogs he had to leave behind. Memories that make him smile and relax as he stretches out along the wooden floor.

He smiles in the darkness and Kevin feels something loosen inside, easing as Nick rolls over at the sound of a car.

"Hey," Kevin says, watching as AJ walks close. He looks clear-eyed, steady as he lowers himself down, and Kevin doesn't know what demons he's been facing, but tonight they haven't won.

When Brian arrives he's soaked through, but he says nothing to Kevin's enquiring look, just slips inside and changes into a pair of shorts, for once his gun left behind.

That leaves Howie, and for a while Kevin thinks this is when they lose him. As the stars sprinkle the sky and they all sit close, their voices low and chilled through as they wait. Then he's suddenly there, emerging from the shadows and taking his place by their sides.

Kevin hasn't lost him today, he hasn't lost any of them. They're all living to face another day.


End file.
